¶ In a perfect world, you wouldn’t need gum. This is not a perfect world.

¶ If you outlaw gum, only outlaws will chew gum.

¶ Know gum? Know peace and safety. No gum? No peace nor safety.

¶ Gum control is holding your gum with two hands.

¶ It’s better to have some gum and not need it than to need some gum and not have it.

¶ Happiness is warm gum.

¶ Gum don’t kill people. Nor does gum spit on the sidewalk. People do.

¶ I’ll give you my gum when you pry it from my cold, dead molars.